Healthcare IT Donuts

There’s a famous Internet meme that explains each of the major social media networks through donuts.

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In light of National Health IT week, I thought it would be fun to look at the healthcare IT space through the donut hole:

EHR Companies

Epic: I make the most expensive donuts, I choose who I sell donuts to, and I don’t let my customers share donuts with anyone else.

Cerner: I make donuts using 85 different kinds of donut machines, but tell people it’s one big masterfully planned donut factory.

Meditech: I make donuts using a 1980s donut machine.

McKesson: I just threw out my old donut factory, and since the new one isn’t doing too well, I’m looking for a new donut factory to buy.

Siemens: I designed and manufactured every piece of equipment in my donut factory, even though most of those components are available as off-the-shelf commodities.

NextGen: I make literally every flavor of donut in existence, and none are particularly good; I wonder why I struggle to sell donuts.

GE: I make donuts, burgers, seafood, Indian food, Chinese food, and Italian food and sell them all at the same store.

Athena: I give donuts away for free, but charge people for actually eating them.

Greenway: I used to sell donuts by the dozen, but now I force people to buy a 12-month subscription to buy one donut per month.

Allscripts: I make donuts, then announce donut recalls.

eClinicalWorks: I don’t publicly talk about my donut business, but I sell lots of donuts anyway.

Practice Fusion: I give out donuts for free, and show weight-loss ads throughout the donut shop.


Startups

HealthTap: I provide a social network for people to share tips about the best and worse donut shops.

Catalyze: I help people build donut shops faster.

Pristine: I take pictures and videos of donuts and share them via Google Glass.

ePatientFinder: I match patients to weight loss clinics based on how many donuts they’ve eaten.

Simplee: I make it easier to pay for donuts.

Teladoc: / Ringadoc: I help people eat donuts over Skype.

RunKeeper: I ask people to record how many donuts they’ve eaten.

JawBone / FitBit: I automatically track how many donuts people eat using highly inaccurate algorithms.

MaxWell Health: I help people make sense of donut nutritional facts.

Kai Nexus: I provide tools to manage process improvement in donut manufacturing.

AdhereTech: I remind people to eat donuts on time.

CenterX: I make it easier and cheaper for doctors to prescribe donuts to their patients.

Ovuline: I remind women when they should eat donuts.


Miscellaneous

Merge: I like sharing pictures of donuts with all of my friends.

Mirth: I give away donuts for free, then charge customers when they ask how to open the donut box.

Medicity: I used to sell lean donuts, but now promise that my donuts aren’t influenced by my transfat parent company.

Orion: I sell kiwi donuts to most of Canada.

AirStrip: I provide solutions to watch and monitor donut-producing equipment.

ZocDoc: I help donut customers find donut shops.

WebMD / iTriage: I help people learn about different kinds of donuts.

Consulting Firms: I teach people how to eat donuts.

Every HIE: my customers promised me that they’d pay for donuts, but didn’t.

HIStalk: I write about all things donut.

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Kyle Samani is a healthcare technology entrepreneur who is passionate about healthcare and technology startups.

  • Dan

    well done. good laughs here.

  • marcyhorn

    Kyle, you didn’t just glaze over health IT companies but made them all more transparent with your insightful wit. Loved the dunk.

  • bbrown

    I have gained 5 lbs. just reading this !!

  • Ace Bhattacharjya

    Kyle- this was outstanding. We printed it in our office for posterity! We’ve been trying to organize the donut space. Most of the donuts taste kinda the same and it turns out that it is really expensive to be in the donut business! Many folks are paying folks to try their donuts.

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